Used to cold

Loneliness is not something I think I strived for in the past, it’s just something that happened over time. I unintentionally isolated myself for a very long time, until I met this person. They pulled me out of seclusion, introduced me to a happier world I suppose. They showed me what companionship could do for a soul.

After they left, I guess I slipped back into that secluded world. Having experienced the sun and that happy feeling of love, I suppose the darkness I used to know so well was frightening as I returned to it. That warmth I experience for a time made me realize the cold I used to walk in.

Being tossed back into solitude so quickly shook me to my core. I felt like an addict, clawing for that drug, which was that person’s presence. I feel silly now, thinking about it. I made a spectacle of myself, looking foolish.

I’ve settled back into that seclusion again. I suppose it’s not so dark. At times, I notice a lonely feeling pass me, like chilled wind in a drafty house. It comes and goes.

I’m a man with many faults and the best of intentions. I’m someone that thinks deeply of the world and the people I meet. I’m someone that appreciates the fleeting nature of every moment. I’m also someone that is scared, yet drawn to companionship.

Like a moth, trapped in fire’s light, I am drawn to that flame. That very flame that could undo me in a moment.



Pain and memories

I waltzed with you through the seasons, I loved you for many reasons.

I don’t pretend to know why you chose to say goodbye.

With all that was said, drifting through my head. I can see you still, laying in my bed.

This love was like vodka, it put me in a trance. But in the end, it was a poisonous romance.

In my brown eyes, you said many things, but I like to think about them, despite the pain it brings.


The café

I past by that place we last kissed, those times we had are dearly missed.
I watched you walk away, not knowing the words to say.
If I called out, darling I love you, would’ve stopped the pain that would ensue.
Was this love happenstance, or perhaps real romance?
At the end, I don’t know, perhaps this is how destiny was meant to flow

In the sea

I tried to make sense of these feelings, this nebulous plethora of pain and pleasure. To love someone, is there really anything more dangerous?

I lost myself in this sea of passion, I dove into its depths without hesitation. There was no fear that gripped my heart, only this innate, primordial instinct that pulled me to you.

I sink now, watching the surface slip away, the light, the world, you, all of these things slipping from my hands as I drift into darkness.

My heart beats, where are you, whoever you are? I need you now, it’s time for you to dive into my sea and rescue me.